It’s a Brand New Day!

Today we drove to Kate's orphanage, on the outskirts of town. There were definite similarities to Mexico on the drive out there. Changchun is home to large auto manufacturing plants, and we drove past a huge fleet of cars on the way. We found it intersting that here in China, the very nice buildings sit right next to very run-down and poor places…oftentimes not separated by miles, but rather feet.

I’m not quite sure what I expected the SWI to be like, but it was different. When you walk in, it just kind of felt like a little bit older building in the states, that was used for a daycare. It was actually a pretty cheerful, sunny place. But you go in the baby’s room and it is crib after crib after crib, all with a baby in it, some of which looked to have a special need. Super cute little babies. Kevin was lucky we only walked out of there with Kate. I wanted to scoop up about 5 of them, load ‘em up in the van, and tell the driver to 'hit it'! There was no way the handful of people working there could hold all those babies enough time, even if they wanted to. They did look like they truly cared for them and were very kindly towards them, talking in a loving voice. They felt protective towards them and did not want pictures taken of the other babies, (after I had already taken 3 or 4) because it was their right to have privacy, even if they were only babies.

They all gathered around Kate, and basically were trying to show her off, like proud aunties. See? She can walk. (Kate was not amused) and she like the horse…they all put her on the horse to show us how fast she likes to ride it, and describe how she’s a wild and crazy girl on it. Then, they put her back in her normal crib, and Kate has this look on her face, as if thinking, “Would someone please tell me what the heck is going on here?! Because I certainly don’t know.” Someone hands her a pretzel stick. I really wanted to scoop her up, but before I had a chance, the auntie, who was very evidently close to her did, and I realized this was really her last time to say goodbye to QiuLu. I saw her hug and nuzzle Kate numerous times. She held her most of the time we were there.

May wrote down her feeding and napping schedule, and said if you want to make her happy, give her some food. Yes, Daddy already discovered that. Did I have any other questions? I asked how she came to stay at the orphanage, and what she was wearing, or was wrapped in when she came. They didn’t remember, and they usually dress the babies when they arrive, and get rid of whatever they came in. I guess I was hoping they had it stored in a Ziploc bag somewhere, even though I knew they didn’t. That would have been an incredible little piece of history for Kate. I also asked about the meltdown…

Well, well, well. They almost looked offended as they tell me through a translator (May) that she has never had those behaviors here. She is always very quiet, she mostly like to walk and play on horse, or stay in her own crib, but not an angry child. Very lovely. (And I’m thinking, listen lady, I’m not making this stuff up…but decide to be diplomatic about it…) Just as I try to say, I think she’s stressed and frustrated/confused and she’s angry, Kate takes matters in to her own hands and hits the lady who had been holding her with her fist (not very hard)…then does it again. I try to hide my smile, and they all three look horrified…”LuLu!” (her nickname - I understood that in Chinese! :)

Five minutes before, Liqing told us that we must be patient with her. Everything is new for her. She has never left orphanage before. New smells, new language, new food. She is also used to being around other children all the time, so now she is confused and very scared of many things. That’s why she want to be held so much. Okay…now she let’s us know that maybe she grows a bad temper and we need to let her know this is not o.k. She needs discipline or she will become spoiled and difficult. You have to show her you are angry and say to her, ‘you cannot do that!’ Make your face fall and let her know you are not happy with her. She is very clever girl. She understand what you are saying and must learn to be good girl. Do not hold her all the time.’ May laughs…you are treating her too good, that is why she wants you to hold her all the time. (I think I’m getting a headache). As a mother of now 5, I’m trying to decide if this new information is helpful, or amusing…okay, I let them know, we’ll give that a shot.

We left some donations of clothes, a few sippy cups, and four boxes of baby toothbrushes that our pediatric dentist was kind enough to donate, along with a handful of small gifts for the people who cared for Kate, and we all walk outside. I had the feeling, if they lived in San Diego, we would be friends. They were very cheerful, funny, kind women, and I was sorry to say goodbye. We thank them again for caring for Kate…well, Kevin mostly did. I, of course, was holding back tears, contemplating how this was an important moment in Kate’s life. We all hug, smile, and wave as we drive away from the orphanage, and Kate is in my arms and lays her head on my chest.

I promised myself this would be a short post. :)